Falling
by Next2NormalAddict
Summary: Spies shouldn’t fall in love. It just makes things more complicated." A look at why everyone's least favorite spy did what he did. Yes, I know you all hate him. But read it anyway.


A/N: _So, I'm weird. I kind of liked Shaw. I didn't like him with Sarah, of course, but I did feel sorry for the guy. I mean, he was just trying to do what he thought was right. So, anyway. I wrote this. Also, the song used when Shaw dies_, Kettering,_ is absolutely amazing. I freaked out when they used it because _Hospice _is like my favorite album ever. I strongly recommend you go buy it. Okay, that was off track. Anyway. Enjoy. _

**Disclaimer: **_I make six fifty an hour. The people who own Chuck make considerably more. I'm pretty sure you can figure out the rest. _

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**August 9, 1998**

**Undisclosed Government Location**

**3:39:47 PM**

"You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?" She was grinning at me. We'd just met a few minutes ago. I already liked her.

"Daniel Shaw at your service." I smiled at her. "And you are…?"

"First rule of spying." She smiled back at me. "Don't tell anybody who you are."

"No." I leaned back in the government-issue stainless steel chair. "The first rule of spying is to never fall in love."

"Well, okay then." She held out a hand. "I'm Evelyn Jackson. But you can call me Eve."

"Okay Eve." I said. "Do you wanna go for a cup of government-issue coffee sometime?"

"What about the first rule?" Eve raised her eyebrows at me.

"Its just coffee." I stand up and offer her a hand. She takes it. "And I've always been kind of a rule-breaker myself."

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**January 9, 2001**

**Undisclosed Government Location**

**11:21:06 PM**

"You realize we're breaking the rules, don't you?" Eve leaned up against my shoulder. We were sitting together on the top of a bank building watching the Ring compound we'd just blown up burn. It was weirdly romantic.

"What rules?" I shrugged of my coat and draped it over her shoulders. She smiled up at me. "The CIA ordered us to blow up the compound." I gestured at it. "That looks thoroughly blown-up to me."

She laughed and snuggled deeper into my shoulder. "No…not that." She said, gazing up at me. "We're breaking, you know, the number one rule."

"Well, I've always been a rule-breaker." I assured her, kissing her softly.

"Daniel…" She protested after a second. "This is dangerous."

"How, Eve?" I put my hands on either side of her face and made her look at me. "I love you. How is that dangerous?"

"What if something bad happened to me? What if I was hurt or killed? Would you still be able to be a good spy?" She placed her hands over mine. They were warm.

"Nothing's going to happen to you, Eve." I tried to kiss her again. She pulled back.

"You don't know that, Daniel." She sighed. "I love you too, but something tells me this isn't a good idea. I'm just worried about what it'll lead to."

"You worry too much." I told her. I kissed her again. And, this time, she didn't pull away.

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**November 19, 2001**

**Undisclosed Government Location**

**10:50:32 AM**

We were being held captive by Ring Agents. Eve and I had become specialists on The Ring in the past year. We'd gone deep, shed our agency contacts.

The room was damp and dark. I could hear people moving in the hallway outside. Eve and I had already tried every possible escape. Eve and I sat, huddled together, in the center of the room.

She turned to me in the gloom. "I'm sorry, Daniel." She murmured. I could barely see her. "This is my fault."

I pulled her a little closer. "Don't start blaming yourself." I kissed her hair lightly. "We'll get out of this, Eve."

"What if we don't?" She asked. There was an emotion I didn't recognize in her eyes. Was it…fear? I'd never really seen Eve scared before.

"Eve…" I held her hand tightly. "I love you."

She squeezed my hand. "I know." She looks down. "I love you too."

"Hey." I said after a moment of silence. "If we get out of this…"

"When." She corrected me. "When we get out of this."

"Right." I said. "When we get out of this…will you marry me?"

She was quiet for almost a minute. Then, finally, she said, "Really?"

"Yeah." I felt around in my pocket for the little box that I'd been carrying with me for almost three months. I opened it and showed her the contents. Even in the low light, the ring glittered. "Big wedding, family, you know, the whole thing. So…will you?"

"You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?" she choked right before kissing me fiercely. When she finally broke away she murmured, "Of course I will."

I slid the ring on her narrow finger. It fit perfectly. Then, the Ring decided to join the party. Two hulking men trooped in. A slim, dark-haired woman stood between them. She smiled at us. "Daniel. Eve."

I smiled back. "Sydney." We've had dealings with her before. I lean down to whisper in Eve's ear. "Hey. Let's get out of this." She nods. And the fight begins.

* * *

**February 9, 2005**

**Outside Paris, France**

**7:19:43 AM**

"I should go with you, Eve." I muttered mutinously. The plane hasn't landed yet. But, I know we'll be there within minutes.

She's lounged in the seat next to me, a small smile on her face. She's playing idly with her wedding ring. "It's just a surveillance tap, Daniel. We can rendezvous in Barcelona the day after tomorrow."

"But what if something goes wrong…" I began, but she cut me off.

"You worry too much." She smiled over at me.

I had to smile back. "Point taken." I said. I grabbed her hand. "Just promise to be careful, okay?"

"Aren't I always?" She leaned against me.

"No." I responded.

"Agent Shaw?" Our pilot said.

"Yes?" We both answered together. The pilot laughed.

"The Mrs. Agent Shaw." He clarified.

"Yeah?" She answered, winking at me.

"We'll be landing in a few moments."

"Okay." Eve snuggled against me. "See you soon, Daniel."

"I love you, Agent Shaw." I informed her.

"I love you too, Agent Shaw." The plane landed as we spoke. She exited. I stayed on board.

"Be safe!" I called. She just waved. The wedding band sparkled on her finger.

And then she was gone.

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**February 9, 2005**

**Outside Barcelona, Spain**

**11:49:15 PM**

My phone rang as I sat in my hotel room, reclining on the bed. The news was on and I wasn't really paying attention. I missed Eve. I flipped it open. "Shaw." I answered it.

"Is this Daniel Shaw?" The voice on the other end was rough, ragged.

"Yes, who is this?" I ignored the anxiety in my gut.

"My name is Officer Dirait. Are you familiar with a Mrs. Eve Shaw?" His voice was obviously French. I dismissed him as local police.

"Yes, she's my wife." I continued to flick through the channels on the TV. I wondered what sort of trouble Eve was having with the police. She could usually flirt her way out of most situations. "What sort of trouble is she in?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Shaw." The voice on the other end of the phone faltered. "She's dead."

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**February 13, 2005**

**Paris, France**

**9:32:08 PM**

I noticed that the river below me was beautiful at night. It was dark. Cool. Peaceful. Eve would have liked it.

Her ashes were in my hands. A wooden box was all that was left of my wife. She was gone.

Her ring was in my pocket, digging harshly into my leg as I leaned over the edge. I couldn't feel it.

I opened the box. It didn't look at the gray ashes before I poured them into the water. I wanted to fall, to follow them into the darkness and the quiet.

For a second I considered it. But, I couldn't. The Ring was still out there. The bastard who killed my wife was still out there. I had to stop them.

I looked down into the water. It was beautiful. "I love you, Eve." I murmured. "I promise I'll find whoever did this. And I'll make them pay."

Then I turned. And didn't look back.

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**April 5, 2010**

**Paris, France**

**11:00:07 PM**

I have always been an honorable man.

I've never killed unless it was absolutely necessary.

Unfortunately, killing Sarah Walker is necessary.

Part of me knows that it really isn't her fault. It was just orders. She did what she was told.

But…Eve. The CIA killed my Eve. Sarah killed my Eve. I need to make sure it never happens again, to anyone. Like I said, I'm an honorable man. I'm not causing a tragedy, I'm preventing one.

I wish I could tell Sarah more about it. She really is an amazing woman. The first I've had feelings for since my wife's death. But, she has to die. I'll make sure it's painless, quick. She won't suffer.

I want to talk to her, though. I want to ask her if she'd do the same thing. What if I killed her Bryce without knowing who he was? What if I killed her Chuck? She'd kill me. It wouldn't matter if it was just orders. She's put a bullet in my head.

That's why spies don't fall in love. It makes the simplest things complicated.

But, I was always a rule-breaker. I loved Eve. I still love Eve. I will always love Eve. I liked Sarah. I still like Sarah. But, I don't love her.

We're at the café. We're alone now. Her eyes are half closed. Tears run down her cheeks. Guilt tugs at me.

"It's almost time to go." She shouldn't suffer. Like I said, it'll be quick, painless. I know she didn't mean to. It was orders.

I hate that she killed my wife. I do. But I don't hate her. She was a tool, a means to an end. She was just a solider, caught in the crossfire between people with bigger concerns.

Still, she pulled the trigger. She killed Eve. So, she'll die. Quick. Painless. I'm not going to prolong it. I'm not going to make her hurt like Eve did. I'm an honorable man.

I'm ready to pull her up out of the chair, to take her to the river when I hear movement behind me.

_Chuck._

I sigh. Spies shouldn't fall in love. It just makes things more complicated.

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**April 5, 2010**

**Paris, France**

**11:09:12 PM**

Winning isn't hard. The Intersect doesn't work right with Chuck. He's too emotional, too loving to be a spy.

I feel sorry for him. I haven't told them his secret. I won't. None of this was his fault. He just fell in love with wrong woman. I'm an honorable man.

The walk to the river is short. I lean over the railing, propping Sarah next to me. The water is dark, cool and beautiful. Just like her. It's the perfect resting spot. For both of them.

"The drug will dull the pain." I assure her. "You won't feel a thing."

I'll drop her into the water gently. She won't thrash or try to swim. It'll be peaceful. She'll hit the water and then sink. It'll be as quick as falling asleep.

"Stop!" I turn away from the water. Chuck is standing there, the gun in his hands.

"I warned you." I tell him. I don't want to do this. I don't kill when I don't have too. I'm an honorable man.

"This isn't you Shaw." He lowers the gun as he speaks. His face is pale. "You can't do this."

Something inside me clicks. It's like the safety coming off a gun. "No, Chuck, I can." I begin to raise the gun. "You can't."

I don't expect the shots. I hear them rather than see them. Bang…Bang…BANG! I feel them, but I don't. I see the stain of blood spread across my chest, but I don't.

The air rushes past me. A coat, red as blood, flickers into my line of sight. Sarah. Her body is still limp. I grab onto it as I twist away from the bridge.

We begin to fall. I can see Eve's face for a second. She looks sad. I try to call out to her. But, then, we stop falling. I can see Chuck. He holds Sarah.

I hold onto her hand. I don't want to let go. She killed Eve. She deserves to fall with me.

Chuck is still holding her.

I can't feel my hand anymore.

I let go.

The last thing I see is Chuck, still holding Sarah.

My last though is that I would have done the same thing for Eve.

Then everything is dark.

Silent.

And still.

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**A/N:** _Okay, that's all! Review and stuff!_


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